Swinging into Balance

can u trust

Hold a pendulum in one hand, high up and tightly to any side — then let go — see its swing.

It will swing to the other end; higher possibly than the end you held it at — and then it swings back and then goes back again — and you see this furious swing till eventually it settles down and stops mid point — the point of balance.

Similarly, if you have held yourself tightly in emotional and mental structure; tightly wound up either about your beliefs or your feelings; when you let go — you are going to swing — to the other end and other extreme.

This is a very important aspect to know when you begin self work.

Lets take an example: lets say you have an issue with control.You are a control freak — the day you let go — you will crave and seek freedom — and possibly run away from all structure.

The higher and tighter the pendulum is held on one end; the more dramatic its swing to the other end.

So in your shifts and in letting go you might swing to the extreme of where you were.

It is important to remember this is just a swing. A natural occurrence of being tightly wound up on the other end.

What many of us do is when we reach the other end — we think ahh! We have changed and so we hold onto the other end believing that to be the better end.

So in this case we might say control is one end and the other end is freedom.

Grass is always greener on the other side. Well, not necessarily so.

The key here is that we were meant to shift out of the resonance of ‘control’. Now having moved to another end of the spectrum unfortunately you are still in the spectrum just another end of it. The spectrum of control is still our resonance even though it might be expressed in a manner we feel is better suited to us.

So even if we are structureless – we are still exhibiting an alternate expression of control. It is in experiencing the state of balance that we are able to neither be only controlling or only structureless. It is about embracing both aspects – knowing each has its own value and in merging the two; in bringing them together, you experience the beautiful alchemy of the two ends of the spectrum providing you its highest expression.

When you let go of both ends you begin to settle into your own balance and ease.

Now comes the disclaimer : 🙂 Continue reading

Energetic potential of your web.

Did you know that the spiders web adjusts to electrically received stimuli that enhances its ability and potential to attract and capture its prey.

The web of energy that we exude, its structure and expression does the same.

It energetically pulses out information and attracts what it is in resonance with that energetic pulsation.

A spiders web can change its form and pulsation to attract the insects it desires, and so can we.

light spider web

Our energetic web is a magnet to other similar energetic frequencies. The energy you transmit is the energy you attract.

A dense heavy web of energy is going to attract dense heavy energetic experiences.

A light fluid flowing web of energy is going to attract light filled fluid flowing experiences.

You choose the web of energy you create.

What the spider taught me about structure

Structure and Energy, teachings of the amazing Spider

We all exist within structure. Its part of what makes us who we are.

We have physical structure to begin with so we are not actually just floating atoms talking to each other telepathically; but there is form and structure in the world that we exist in.

We see similar structure in less tangible terms too — such as our individual persona which structures our reality; extending out to familial, cultural, religious, corporate, governmental structure.

Structure is a common set of rules that we apply to our lives. Sort of a one size fits all, set of controls, that overlays all that we do, think and feel.

It is rigid and heavy and dense like most of what we see around us. It stands proud and strong and unbending to any off road possibilities that might come its way. Our homes, our bodies our world and everything that we connect with, expresses this denseness at its core. At times the structure might be totally inappropriate to us or the situation but we apply it anyway because structure comes first. Structure has become a system that we are all expected to fit into whether it be how we parent, educate, work, live, love, express, pray.

Structure was the first thing I remember realising I had lost when I started my journey. Circumstances had dissolved it and I felt like I had no structure left –  whether it be  mental structure (right or wrong); emotional structure (which was erratic) or my physical reality which was in upheaval.
So though a part of me was terrified of feeling radar less and de-structured — it was also strangely and wonderfully liberating. I felt free! Completely free of any fixed form of thinking or being.

For a long time post,  I resisted all structure.

I believe in freedom. I believe in thinking free, feeling freely, expressing my truth, experiencing a life free of any filters that might limit my perceptions of it.

I saw structure as the roadblock to freedom. Freedom for me was doing whatever I wanted to – allowing my full potential to emerge and express itself. I chose a new mantra ‘go with the flow’. Move away from knowing and controlling to just flowing through life and wherever the currents would take me. I would put no framework of any kind and just wait to be taken along for the ride. Some days, I found myself going nowhere.

For how can you go anywhere if you disengage and detach from your expression of life? Where will the flow take you without direction and focus? It might never even reach you and so that waiting for the flow could turn out to be like waiting for Godot.

Realising the balance of structure and freedom was a big learning; it is not to choose one or the other but to provide your free heart the right structure to act, feel, think and express through.

Yet what then is right structure? That is what the Spider taught me.
Continue reading

Everyday Magic

Even today I struggle.

As practised as I am at my self work, I still struggle with how to offer this information as a source of support to others who might benefit from what I have learnt and experienced.

Words fail me in expressing eloquently enough the infinite potential of solutions and options available to us to help us live a happier life.

When I started, I read a lot, of philosophy and conceptual thought; writings of how things are and how they should be. Broad based understandings which were so expanded, that after a point were just concepts with no real tangible application in my life.

Principle concepts and truths did come to light, yet I wondered what was the point of knowing about the universal truths on an esoteric level; if I as a individual was not able to apply and exercise them into my regular life?

Also when I read stories of those that had experienced a higher vision, perspective and even enlightenment — all their stories seemed to give them a clear sign.
Almost like a marking that ‘yes, you are the chosen one’. Most of them had a magical awakening. A call to an ashram or guru; hearing the voice of angels, masters, god; the mystical blessing of an enlightened one that shook them awake or put them into a transcendental experience and woke them up to purpose. Some of them were tagged as young children and so they grew up knowing they were special.
I had none of this. I had lived in a city, most of my life the same one I was born in. Not a magical beautiful city rather a pretty dense messed up one. I looked around for signs that would mark me as special…I wondered when my guru would call me or when would I experience something as brilliant as the third eye awakening and then just ’know it all’. Continue reading

There is no one way

Whether you are at the start, middle or deep into your journey…

Breathe in.
You are where you are meant to be. Whoever, whatever, wherever you are in life; it is exactly as it is meant to be. You are perfect — all is perfect. All is well.
Breathe out.

There is nothing you need to be, do or have; to get started or continue on this journey.

There are millions of people, books and stories out there that will tell you how you should start your journey, who you should be on your journey, or the parameters that gauge your growth on this journey.

I interject here to say you are essentially, ultimately a unique, free, independent, sovereign, powerful, beautiful expression of a constantly expanding source energy. You are here to live your life your way and express truth in your special unique way.

Being inspired, guided, supported, loved by others and learning from them is part of this incredible journey. Continue reading

Healing myself

During these years of self study, discovery and work – I maintained single pointed focus on myself.

I was put/I put myself into a situation where the need for healing arose.

We are always on our journey — always. Our journey begins with our birth. The journey might be to learn just one thing that needs to be learnt — maybe patience. It might instead be one of discovery, resolution, relaxation, enjoyment, experience, healing, teaching, transmitting or transformation… Each journey eventually is a unique one though it might still fit into one of these basic moulds. Some might start a conscious journey (one that is lived consciously and in awareness) very early in life and others might never do so; most will find a combination of both spaces in their life.

You are reading this blog; hence you are either already on your journey, about to start one, or considering the possibility of doing so. The journey is wondrous and whatever form or depth it takes — it is your journey — one that will be uniquely and beautifully crafted just for you.

I started my conscious journey at a time when I was in deep mental and emotional strain. I developed a physical problem with my skin. I never really labelled it but it was an acute expression of what might be called eczema. At that time, there was no concept of natural healing or any of the incredible information and choices that exist today. The medical world told me it would never heal and I would need to reconcile with this physical disease for life. All I could do was apply high end steroid and cortisone creams to peel it away. This problem was on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet. I felt crucified. I felt like I had been given a prison sentence with no way out and the rest of my life was going to be spent managing this condition.

Something sparked in me and I resolved within, to heal myself. I had no real understanding of what that meant and yet I couldn’t accept this situation as finality.

I could see that my physical condition had timeline wise been related to an exaggerated degree of stress that I was experiencing at that time, and so I concluded that my physical situation was a result of my emotional and mental state. Therefore, what I had to do was heal those spaces, and I would heal myself.

It was this simple logic that persuaded me to drop everything in my life and concentrate just on my self. It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, but that simplicity and conviction as naive as it might sound today; was my biggest strength. I just believed I could and so I decided to do whatever possible to do so.

Then I found myself lost. Where would I start? Who could I go to? I did not know anyone who would agree or support this claim forget having actually experienced or done it themselves.

So I withdrew. I entreated into a cave within my heart and mind. Other than those closest and dearest to me, no-one knew of my plans or intent. I acknowledge and honour this inner circle of mine, for I know how concerned and worried they were. They did not understand what I was talking about but still supported me. They felt I should follow medical advice and did not believe that I could heal myself. Yet, they accepted my journey and that is what gave me the strength to go on. Continue reading

Revolution or Evolution

   

 When we stay stuck in the space of right or wrong, black or white, your truth or my truth, his-tory or her-story, you are constantly revolving. Going around in circles. These are just different ends of the same energy thread.When you let go of this energy thread, when you stop fighting everything and accept it all just as it is; you evolve into a space of ease and comfort.

Revolution is a fight — an angst — something you are against. Even if you are fighting for something ‘good’ and against something ‘bad’. Thats still judgement. Thats still putting yourself into the energy of a fight.

It is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify something.

I know this sounds so idealistic. We can see there is so much wrong in this world. We experience it. Every time we read the papers, or watch the news; probably every time we leave our doorsteps. We see so much wrong against ourselves, others we love, humans at large, animals, the environment. We see it in governments, corporates, individuals.

How can we not fight for justice or against the terrible wrong we see in this world? We believe we must; we believe everyone must. Those that don’t, deserve no place in society. Those that don’t speak up, are as bad as those that do wrong. Being apathetic is a terrible crime.

Yet, I repeat it is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify anything.

This does not mean that you don’t speak up or act for what you believe in; it just means you don’t act against anything. It’s a subtle difference but in that subtlety comes a very different energy charge. We might sign a petition, go for a talk, walk, speak up, stand for things. Yet we don’t do it against anything. We don’t seek to put something else down to put help our voices be heard. We speak, stand up for what we believe in just because we do. We might know the energetic resonance of something thing is purer and more lighter and easier for all concerned and so we choose to partake and share in that light. We are not fighting anything. We are standing up and promoting a choice that exists. We see that every choice is just what it is and we don’t bring in the judgement, opinion or criticism into it. If we do see someone choosing a path that we can tell is not good for one and all; we could certainly speak up and share the alternatives that are.

Yet, if they still choose to follow that path — we don’t condemn them for it. We understand that is their choice and path that they have chosen to experience. Every experience good and bad brings value to every person and the world at large.

For you see there are things that we just don’t understand. As far as we might grow we will never truly know it all. There are suppositions of how the universe works; but I believe that is just what they are. Possibilities and probabilities — but can any one theory claim it to be the ultimate one? Not really.
There is an unknown aspect that exists as part of an existence of Earth. Some great seers and enlightened masters have shared that all is just as it is meant to be. So following that, however bizarre it might seem; could the darkness we see around us, be as it is meant to be? There exists this possibility. The why is the unknown part here.

Anyone who has walked their path consciously — will know it was the ‘darkness’ or ‘negatives’ that pushed them towards recognising the ‘light’ or their ‘positives’. It is an inherent truth. Light shines the brightest in the darkest of times. That is where we are. We are in a time of greatest darkness which will just allow your light to shine brighter, louder, clearer. Instead of fighting the darkness just embrace the lightness — the light.

When we let go of the fight, we let go of the power struggle that the fight pulls us into. You against me. Me right you wrong. Having to prove why I am right and you are wrong. All this is just a waste of energy.

When we recognise this; we begin to rise above the situation. We begin to evolve into our light selves. Evolution is a beautiful movement into a space that exudes in every core space of its existence pure unconditional love, acceptance, oneness, balance, ease, comfort, beauty, hope – above all else a sense of lightness by letting go. Evolution is not at the cost of another — it is moving on and knowing others will grow along too. Not when or how but just that it will happen.

All you must do is focus on your self. Focus on your light. Be the brightest strongest spark you can be in the densest darkest sky. You will be the one that will lead others home.

heart wings

What do seekers really seek?

Most seekers wade through life looking for that one thing that will connect us to our truth. That one treatment, workshop, class, article, book, wisdom, or practice that we can settle into and feel like we have arrived. Most of the time we really don’t know where we are headed; we just have this burning desire to be someplace where we can feel at peace, calm, and happy. A sense of being home. This desire propels us seekers into our journey as we keep searching for that connection and space, while not entirely certain where to find it or how it will really be once we get there. We listen to others’ experiences, we hear the confidence in their voices, we see happiness in their eyes, and we think maybe their way is the way. We jump onto their ride hoping it will take us home.

What is home? Is it another planet, a star system, a galaxy, a specific place on Earth, someone’s arms, a community? The space where we can rest our weary heads and can feel completely settled and feel like we belong. Where can we feel ourselves completely wholly and truly? Where can we seekers allow ourselves to be exactly who we are without any sense of need to fit in; where we don’t have do anything else that requires us to be eligible to belong?

This need of eligibility is everywhere–family, friends, school, work, community, culture, religion, etc. Every space we occupy has its own requirements to fit in. However well-meaning some may be, the essential message we receive is that we need to do something or show something of ourselves to be accepted. We feel we must adopt a manner, language, behavior, dress, or speech to fit it. In doing so, we are still adopting an outer reflection that might not be completely our truth.

Our desire to belong is greater than our confidence to be, and we believe that we are not enough. This belief is what keeps us from our ultimate truth, home, and resting space since our ultimate cocoon can only be found within ourselves–within the ultimate truth of who we are without any inflections. Yet, how will we seekers ever get there if our core belief tells us we are not enough?

We always have some of our identity borrowed by some guideline, which is followed by some institution that we aspire to belong to. We believe we need to be part of that something, which when we are accepted into, will be the answer to what we are looking for.

When we do go into something and still don’t find that space of rest, we believe something is wrong with us to have not found it, so we continue to look even more. We continue taking the class, workshop, practice, or teaching in an effort to adopt that one more thing we believe will lead us home.

How ironic that the only way home is when we drop the belief that we really need anything or anyone outside of us to take us there. The ultimate feeling of belonging to self comes only when we are willing to stand in our truth without any adopted beliefs, manners, and speech. It is realized when we are willing to be completely whoever we truly are and believe in ourselves.

These simple words have great power. I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. In saying these words, there is a letting go and a release of all the strain and stress we carry within our hearts and minds of trying to reach our destination. Our minds might not believe it, but our hearts ache to hear those words. Can I be enough just the way I am?

Allow these words to speak to you. Sit and observe the reasons the mind believes that it is not possible. Allow it to tell you its story. Hold those beliefs. Some of them will hold a strong energetic emotional charge, and those will require some degree of focused clearing work. Others will just come up for awareness and that is all you need to release them. Some, you may just not be ready to let go of. Those stories are still useful to you, and that’s perfectly okay too.

Whichever way, whether you work through them or not, just continue saying those words, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, as you hold them and caress them. Slowly begin to walk back the path of believing them and becoming them for they will guide you home.

article featured on Om Times

heart wings