When you zoom in on the smallest microcosmic elements of your self they come into focus and express their inherent beauty and magic. These little small elements when lightened up together enable your larger whole to shine brighter and wider! Shine on!
Even today I struggle.
As practised as I am at my self work, I still struggle with how to offer this information as a source of support to others who might benefit from what I have learnt and experienced.
Words fail me in expressing eloquently enough the infinite potential of solutions and options available to us to help us live a happier life.
When I started, I read a lot, of philosophy and conceptual thought; writings of how things are and how they should be. Broad based understandings which were so expanded, that after a point were just concepts with no real tangible application in my life.
Principle concepts and truths did come to light, yet I wondered what was the point of knowing about the universal truths on an esoteric level; if I as a individual was not able to apply and exercise them into my regular life?
Also when I read stories of those that had experienced a higher vision, perspective and even enlightenment — all their stories seemed to give them a clear sign.
Almost like a marking that ‘yes, you are the chosen one’. Most of them had a magical awakening. A call to an ashram or guru; hearing the voice of angels, masters, god; the mystical blessing of an enlightened one that shook them awake or put them into a transcendental experience and woke them up to purpose. Some of them were tagged as young children and so they grew up knowing they were special.
I had none of this. I had lived in a city, most of my life the same one I was born in. Not a magical beautiful city rather a pretty dense messed up one. I looked around for signs that would mark me as special…I wondered when my guru would call me or when would I experience something as brilliant as the third eye awakening and then just ’know it all’. Continue reading
During these years of self study, discovery and work – I maintained single pointed focus on myself.
I was put/I put myself into a situation where the need for healing arose.
We are always on our journey — always. Our journey begins with our birth. The journey might be to learn just one thing that needs to be learnt — maybe patience. It might instead be one of discovery, resolution, relaxation, enjoyment, experience, healing, teaching, transmitting or transformation… Each journey eventually is a unique one though it might still fit into one of these basic moulds. Some might start a conscious journey (one that is lived consciously and in awareness) very early in life and others might never do so; most will find a combination of both spaces in their life.
You are reading this blog; hence you are either already on your journey, about to start one, or considering the possibility of doing so. The journey is wondrous and whatever form or depth it takes — it is your journey — one that will be uniquely and beautifully crafted just for you.
I started my conscious journey at a time when I was in deep mental and emotional strain. I developed a physical problem with my skin. I never really labelled it but it was an acute expression of what might be called eczema. At that time, there was no concept of natural healing or any of the incredible information and choices that exist today. The medical world told me it would never heal and I would need to reconcile with this physical disease for life. All I could do was apply high end steroid and cortisone creams to peel it away. This problem was on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet. I felt crucified. I felt like I had been given a prison sentence with no way out and the rest of my life was going to be spent managing this condition.
Something sparked in me and I resolved within, to heal myself. I had no real understanding of what that meant and yet I couldn’t accept this situation as finality.
I could see that my physical condition had timeline wise been related to an exaggerated degree of stress that I was experiencing at that time, and so I concluded that my physical situation was a result of my emotional and mental state. Therefore, what I had to do was heal those spaces, and I would heal myself.
It was this simple logic that persuaded me to drop everything in my life and concentrate just on my self. It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, but that simplicity and conviction as naive as it might sound today; was my biggest strength. I just believed I could and so I decided to do whatever possible to do so.
Then I found myself lost. Where would I start? Who could I go to? I did not know anyone who would agree or support this claim forget having actually experienced or done it themselves.
So I withdrew. I entreated into a cave within my heart and mind. Other than those closest and dearest to me, no-one knew of my plans or intent. I acknowledge and honour this inner circle of mine, for I know how concerned and worried they were. They did not understand what I was talking about but still supported me. They felt I should follow medical advice and did not believe that I could heal myself. Yet, they accepted my journey and that is what gave me the strength to go on. Continue reading
When we stay stuck in the space of right or wrong, black or white, your truth or my truth, his-tory or her-story, you are constantly revolving. Going around in circles. These are just different ends of the same energy thread.When you let go of this energy thread, when you stop fighting everything and accept it all just as it is; you evolve into a space of ease and comfort.
Revolution is a fight — an angst — something you are against. Even if you are fighting for something ‘good’ and against something ‘bad’. Thats still judgement. Thats still putting yourself into the energy of a fight.
It is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify something.
I know this sounds so idealistic. We can see there is so much wrong in this world. We experience it. Every time we read the papers, or watch the news; probably every time we leave our doorsteps. We see so much wrong against ourselves, others we love, humans at large, animals, the environment. We see it in governments, corporates, individuals.
How can we not fight for justice or against the terrible wrong we see in this world? We believe we must; we believe everyone must. Those that don’t, deserve no place in society. Those that don’t speak up, are as bad as those that do wrong. Being apathetic is a terrible crime.
Yet, I repeat it is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify anything.
This does not mean that you don’t speak up or act for what you believe in; it just means you don’t act against anything. It’s a subtle difference but in that subtlety comes a very different energy charge. We might sign a petition, go for a talk, walk, speak up, stand for things. Yet we don’t do it against anything. We don’t seek to put something else down to put help our voices be heard. We speak, stand up for what we believe in just because we do. We might know the energetic resonance of something thing is purer and more lighter and easier for all concerned and so we choose to partake and share in that light. We are not fighting anything. We are standing up and promoting a choice that exists. We see that every choice is just what it is and we don’t bring in the judgement, opinion or criticism into it. If we do see someone choosing a path that we can tell is not good for one and all; we could certainly speak up and share the alternatives that are.
Yet, if they still choose to follow that path — we don’t condemn them for it. We understand that is their choice and path that they have chosen to experience. Every experience good and bad brings value to every person and the world at large.
For you see there are things that we just don’t understand. As far as we might grow we will never truly know it all. There are suppositions of how the universe works; but I believe that is just what they are. Possibilities and probabilities — but can any one theory claim it to be the ultimate one? Not really.
There is an unknown aspect that exists as part of an existence of Earth. Some great seers and enlightened masters have shared that all is just as it is meant to be. So following that, however bizarre it might seem; could the darkness we see around us, be as it is meant to be? There exists this possibility. The why is the unknown part here.
Anyone who has walked their path consciously — will know it was the ‘darkness’ or ‘negatives’ that pushed them towards recognising the ‘light’ or their ‘positives’. It is an inherent truth. Light shines the brightest in the darkest of times. That is where we are. We are in a time of greatest darkness which will just allow your light to shine brighter, louder, clearer. Instead of fighting the darkness just embrace the lightness — the light.
When we let go of the fight, we let go of the power struggle that the fight pulls us into. You against me. Me right you wrong. Having to prove why I am right and you are wrong. All this is just a waste of energy.
When we recognise this; we begin to rise above the situation. We begin to evolve into our light selves. Evolution is a beautiful movement into a space that exudes in every core space of its existence pure unconditional love, acceptance, oneness, balance, ease, comfort, beauty, hope – above all else a sense of lightness by letting go. Evolution is not at the cost of another — it is moving on and knowing others will grow along too. Not when or how but just that it will happen.
All you must do is focus on your self. Focus on your light. Be the brightest strongest spark you can be in the densest darkest sky. You will be the one that will lead others home.
Most seekers wade through life looking for that one thing that will connect us to our truth. That one treatment, workshop, class, article, book, wisdom, or practice that we can settle into and feel like we have arrived. Most of the time we really don’t know where we are headed; we just have this burning desire to be someplace where we can feel at peace, calm, and happy. A sense of being home. This desire propels us seekers into our journey as we keep searching for that connection and space, while not entirely certain where to find it or how it will really be once we get there. We listen to others’ experiences, we hear the confidence in their voices, we see happiness in their eyes, and we think maybe their way is the way. We jump onto their ride hoping it will take us home.
What is home? Is it another planet, a star system, a galaxy, a specific place on Earth, someone’s arms, a community? The space where we can rest our weary heads and can feel completely settled and feel like we belong. Where can we feel ourselves completely wholly and truly? Where can we seekers allow ourselves to be exactly who we are without any sense of need to fit in; where we don’t have do anything else that requires us to be eligible to belong?
This need of eligibility is everywhere–family, friends, school, work, community, culture, religion, etc. Every space we occupy has its own requirements to fit in. However well-meaning some may be, the essential message we receive is that we need to do something or show something of ourselves to be accepted. We feel we must adopt a manner, language, behavior, dress, or speech to fit it. In doing so, we are still adopting an outer reflection that might not be completely our truth.
Our desire to belong is greater than our confidence to be, and we believe that we are not enough. This belief is what keeps us from our ultimate truth, home, and resting space since our ultimate cocoon can only be found within ourselves–within the ultimate truth of who we are without any inflections. Yet, how will we seekers ever get there if our core belief tells us we are not enough?
We always have some of our identity borrowed by some guideline, which is followed by some institution that we aspire to belong to. We believe we need to be part of that something, which when we are accepted into, will be the answer to what we are looking for.
When we do go into something and still don’t find that space of rest, we believe something is wrong with us to have not found it, so we continue to look even more. We continue taking the class, workshop, practice, or teaching in an effort to adopt that one more thing we believe will lead us home.
How ironic that the only way home is when we drop the belief that we really need anything or anyone outside of us to take us there. The ultimate feeling of belonging to self comes only when we are willing to stand in our truth without any adopted beliefs, manners, and speech. It is realized when we are willing to be completely whoever we truly are and believe in ourselves.
These simple words have great power. I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. In saying these words, there is a letting go and a release of all the strain and stress we carry within our hearts and minds of trying to reach our destination. Our minds might not believe it, but our hearts ache to hear those words. Can I be enough just the way I am?
Allow these words to speak to you. Sit and observe the reasons the mind believes that it is not possible. Allow it to tell you its story. Hold those beliefs. Some of them will hold a strong energetic emotional charge, and those will require some degree of focused clearing work. Others will just come up for awareness and that is all you need to release them. Some, you may just not be ready to let go of. Those stories are still useful to you, and that’s perfectly okay too.
Whichever way, whether you work through them or not, just continue saying those words, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, as you hold them and caress them. Slowly begin to walk back the path of believing them and becoming them for they will guide you home.
For many years now, I have walked on this path of self change. Working with my thoughts and emotions and shifting them so that they might shift the world I live in. It is not about control but rather about awareness and healing. Many times I have caressed these thoughts and emotions, ignored them, allowed them to fester or take over my space. I have seen what each of these actions have done to me and my world. Then there were times when I chose to step in and accept them for whatever they were, however distasteful, and believed that there was another way.
Yet, I kept it all to myself. I didn’t think it was for me to share or teach others – not from a point of arrogant but rather twisted humility – of what can i really offer? At the same time, my journey was such a twisted personal one that I couldn’t really claim to know anything of substance that might help another. Also, I couldn’t be sure till I really knew myself.
Today it is different. I feel like i am bursting – with an excitement that overwhelms me because I have seen what this kind of work can do. Wherever you are in life, whoever you are in life, whatever you do in life – nothing – absolutely nothing stops you from experiencing a happier one.
There are no limits = there is no where to reach except for easier, easier, easier. Life is easy. Life is good. Life knows.
What comes in way of this ease? Ourselves. Thats it. There is no incident, person, experience – however traumatic that can stop you from moving. Only you can. Only you decide that this ‘x’ person, experience, incident is worth giving your power away to. I know this can sound flippant but it is true.
In my own experience the one thing that probably would have made me give up believing in this, would be the untimely death of someone very dear to me. I believed that would definitely be a justified reason to just give up and dive back into anger and hate and resentment and despair so deep that you could not carry on. I could not make sense of that in any way and I am grateful I did not have to experience it to shift my world.
Then I met someone who has, and as much as I would give 100% allowance to the person to be living a sad depressed life – I found that he had managed to go on. Go on so beautifully; so as to have the ability to shift and shake other peoples unwillingness to move. He holds his energy so powerfully and easily and smoothly that he is able to glide into your energy and help you see what is holding you back.
And then i realised, no matter what… whatever your hardships; however difficult they might seem, however justified, you always have a choice. A choice that will derail you or one where you still look for the light and continue to move on.
I remember very early on in my journey, learning that you are dealt the cards that you can deal with (no pun intended). I would always say who in God’s name chose these cards for me? – and the answer was ME.
We are soul stars – we come from beyond this earthly dimension from a consciousness that no can can really describe. Whatever the definitions that many other seers have provided – I don’t know if it can truly be contained in any finite description. So I just accept that there is this ultra consciousness we come from – what matters only is your experience and description of it.
In this ultra conscious space we have a knowingness that is beyond intelligence. A knowingness that possibly charters out our path on a soul level.
This knowingness is all embracing, all inclusive, all one. Its path therefore, can only be such that embraces and includes all soul paths at the same time.
In that knowingness we choose our life path for this life – and in doing so we create a beautiful complex tapestry that will unfold itself. A tapestry that has such incredible undefinable intelligence that at every moment of time, in every choice and in every decision; there are multitude of options that could be experienced. The tapestry keeps unfolding with just one focus in mind – find your true self.
Know your true self within the veil of illusions. Become the magician within a world of magic and not an audience in a theatre of illusion.
This is the only reason for living. How your tapestry unfolds is your personal story – but the destination of discovering your true self is the same for all souls on earth. You bring your distinct flavour to it – an aroma that only you can create.
So go on – explore your gift – your story; and in doing so you will discover your greatest happiness and pleasure.
today is one of those days – when i woke up in a daze – a feeling of having not slept enough – and i had to rush – rush to make it in time for my sons assembly performance – my sons woke up in a daze too – whiny and needy and i had no time to attend to these needs they had – i had to make it to school – rush get ready – make sure they ate and the entire way it was run run run – my younger son came upto me to say lets play and i said no no no – finish your food – we need to run can’t be late – and the energy that the day started with was discordant – and i didn’t have or take the time out to set it right either.
and that happens…
it happens all the time – and it can get doubly frustrating because you can see whats happening – you can see that this is what is going to change the course or affect the course of the day. its going to make the day heavy. A day when everything is a task and a chore and just getting through the day is a challenge.
There is a knowing that a light filled day is different – it is one of ease and calm and flow – and the day just rolls on so smoothly and beautifully. This knowing makes it even more difficult. It makes the heavy days heavier because instead of just accepting them to be another day – you know better.
both are going to happen. So do we just accept and move on and hope for more light filled days and pray the heavy days away? Is there a way to change the flow?
Lets take today – there was an energetic discord to the day – and it could come from a number of reasons – physical, emotional and mental – and whatever the trigger – eventually they all spiral into each other and the mood for the day is set.
If you are in awareness of it then you can consciously at some point shift or bring in another action, thought, feeling that might shift the energy you hold and then that too will spiral outwards into all the other spaces you occupy.
Writing does that for me. It clears my mind, my heart and in turn my energy. For others it might be art, singing, meditation, cooking, praying, making lists, exercising, dancing, playing…
Find your switch. That one thing that fixes you, calms you, and can shift your energy from discord to ease. Even if you have spent half the day or 3/4 of the day in discord – whenever you can, bring in your switch – turn it on and then experience how energy can shift and what it can do to you and everything you experience post. As you do it more and more you will get better at it, and then soon, you might be able to turn on that switch at the time you wake up and feel the discord; or much earlier into your day than you could ever do before.
Energy – Innergy
A play with words. Is that what life is about?
How you read life – what it means to you – what perspective do you bring to it?
Is it these perspectives – that cause us ‘Ease or Dis-ease’? ‘Distress or Destress’
What is life like when viewed from an inner landscape?
An inner expression which when allowed to peek its head out of its cowered/covered space turns on a light so bright it lights up your world.
Is this even possible? Can we truly say that our lives can be changed through play of what we think, see, believe, speak? How does it change? What makes this change happen? Can this be applied to all aspects of life or does it only work in limited spaces?
Is there someway to understand this and apply it in our everyday lives. How does philosophy become practical?
These are some of the intentions I have for this blog. To offer an inner viewpoint to life in all its various everyday forms. Having a conceptual understanding is one thing, being able to apply it to your work, home, relationships, health, wealth, among others; is when that becomes valuable…
On this blog I shall do just that – share my own experiences, and understandings of a life that has been viewed through an inner lens for the past 12 odd years and how it has helped me navigate through some of life’s toughest lessons.
I hope you join me on my journey of sharing, and may it bring greater clarity, confidence, calmness, beauty, balance, and most importantly ease into your every day.