Right or Wrong

I found this in my drafts folder today – written in august 2017 ❤️

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Right/ Wrong. Growing up these were big words in our lives. School and parents both stressed hugely on what was right and wrong and our thoughts and actions were continuously modified within the acceptability of that which we inherited.

So where does this all fit in with ‘independence’? When we get locked into a series of definitions that have been imposed upon us – but eventually accepted by us – we lose our individuality and independence.

Consciously or not, we tend to find ourselves constantly comparing and judging the thoughts and actions of ourselves and others, based on the concepts of right and wrong. Our approval ratings are influenced and measured by social trends and acceptance. Our desire to be accepted by the majority is so high that we don’t realise it is reflective of a sense of low self worth.

Most of us in an effort to experience freedom and independence step onto a path of questioning. This spiritual path comes with many options. We all need practises and tools to help us on our spiritual journey but which ones are the right ones? Most of these tools and practises are tied into a label of sorts. Yogini; shaman; galactic; energy healers; earth people; cosmic people; star seeds; vegan; non vegan; raw; ashram; meditators; buddhist are just some of them and the sub groups within each of these is even longer.

If we enter this path  and seek to fit in; it can get intimidating. Here too, there are the perceived cool and the not so cool groups. To fit into the cool groups you begin to imitate their habits and follow their tools and practises. Once in the group there is an expectancy to stay committed to the tools and practises so that you are then ‘identifiable’ as a member of that group. This might be language, dress, habits, interests in addition to the mentioned tools and practises/ Interestingly the opinion on the right and wrong in these groups doesn’t seem any lesser than ‘regular’ life – and the judgement scores are pretty high here too.

The thing to remember is that if you truly want to experience your freedom you have to be independent in your choices and constantly examine the motivations behind them.

It could very much be that the label that you choose is the right one for you for that moment in time.

Ultimately though there is no right or wrong. There just is the right tool and practise for you at that present time. So if you are looking for a way to start or deepen your journey – you must stay above the board of labels. There might be a practise or a tool within a type of group that might be perfect for you and may step up your growth and it might only last for 3 days – months – years – or some a lifetime – that depends on YOU. There is on one youer than YOU (thanks suess) and so your YOUness should demand and command your choices not someone else’s YOUness. For that is theirs and you are YOU. So how can you choose anothers path – and how can someone else’s right and wrong determine yours? So you have a unlimited world of opportunities tools and practises to choose from. You may need to be vegan but if the day comes when you no longer need to be one – you should be free to be able to let that go and move on to the next right for your current life.

Ultimately our faith should be such that if the Universe is flowing us in a direction it will never take us to where we don’t want to go or to a place that is truly harmful to anyone else. We cannot even hope to understand the larger scope journey and choices of the Universe and ultimately why what it is -is. Isn’t it the greatest gift to just know our own motivations intentions and desires and to understand if they exist within a positive flowing network or within a rigid closed egoistic framework. If it is the former and that requires you to eat meat – so be it – trust that if you are responding to your space of TRUEness then you can not make a decision that is wrong for you. It might be wrong for another but that is their path.

I have met enough spiritualists to know that they are conforming to the labels that have been put onto the path and are probably more disconnected to their truth than another who isn’t even on a conscious journey. Wearing the clothes and chanting mantras doesn’t make you a spiritualist – it is your inner motivations and your inner space that determines your truth and flow.

So focus on the shine and sparkle within and allow the outside to eventually shine and sparkle right back at you!

Deep love always!

The 3 branches of life

For a long time I saw Life as a flow between the spaces of giving and receiving…

We believe we can only truly live when we have received enough and so we chase that elusive next $. Chasing it we end up losing focus on the quality of life that we are currently living.  Sometimes we earn or have so much we stress out on how can we give or share more – for many they feel good only when they have the umbrella of “giving” attached to them as it enables their sense of worth or goodness.

In between these two lies a third branch. Living. It might seem as such an obvious statement. One might think ‘of course we are all living – if we are breathing and we are alive – then we are living’. Yet do we live mindfully?

Mindful living includes the actions of giving and receiving. Yet rather than let outer motivations define which actions we engage in – mindful living allow us to do so without judgement. There is nothing I ‘have’ to do – there is what I must do or need to do from an inner perspective or knowingness.

Happiness is a destination we all seek. Yet there is no where to journey to.

When we hold the fallacy that a place, time or person holds our key to happiness we shall always be waiting or seeking. Happiness exists in the now; in the present moment. It is in mindful living that we find happiness. For in that mindfulness we are able to receive the guidance of our inner beingness or God. This guidance can be deeply profound or simple. It might help you understand the mysteries of life or just be a GPS to the choices that you make in your everyday life.

The initial effort must be to work towards this space of alignment. For those that have dedicated their lives to this purpose will experience a greater alignment than possibly you or me who have chosen to straddle both the spiritual and material world. Those people grow into masterhood and are able to be the physical gateway for masses thereby attaining the title of Master. Yet, it is possible for each one of us to achieve a fair degree of inner alignment which is useful in navigating us (to a fair degree) in our regular everyday world.

In this space of living your inner guidance will tell you where to apply your focus. So you might be in the space where you need to earn and work and make a lot of money. Or it might be that your purpose is in the space of service. I know that when I stopped working for personal reasons – there was always this desire to be back at work – contributing…yet, as much as i desired it or believed it was what was needed it didn’t really happen. The reason for that is because it was not the right time – there were other areas i needed to focus on and work with.

We define our worth by situations that we believe to be suitable or  acceptable -so working in a corporate day job is more acceptable and perceived as more valuable than setting up a home for example.

However, that is only a perception. It is when you are willing to rise above all these perceptions and just trust your inner guidance that you will realise that what you are doing right here right now – is actually what you are ‘meant to be’ doing. That is your current immediate present purpose. Eventually in the ultimate overview of your life it will all makes sense.

So whatever it is you think you should be doing or should have done. Stop. Take a moment. Breathe. Breathe till you experience an ease in your breath. Allow it to settle – Promise yourself that your present time will be focussed on becoming more present. As you promise that to yourself you will find solutions on how to do so will appear up for you.

As your inner presence grows your present will come into greater alignment ease and peace.

Be blessed!

Matter is me.

We know there to be 4 core states of matter – solid, liquid, vapour and plasma.

We are matter hence we too are solid, liquid, vapour and plasma.

Rather than look at these states as separate entities or fractions, we should allow them to come together as different expressions of the same fabric.

So just as these 4 states reflect the matter outside of us they are also the states we embody within. These 4 states co-exist and impact each other, causing complexities and variances within the visible form.

The solid state is our physical body. The most visible state. It is the form that we embody.

The liquid state is our emotional body. Our feelings which influence our mood. Their inherent truth is to flow and to glow (if i might add) 😄. A flowing state is one of grace, love and ease.

Vapour is our mental body. It is the unseen but is runs as a constant track consciously and unconsciously absorbing developing creating belief systems and thought patterns. It is as critical as the other unseen vapour of our life; our breath. Which is why in meditation, breath is linked to our state of peace and calm.

Plasma is the one that excites me the most. It is called ionised gas. Simply put it comprises of electrons, ions, atoms and molecules that react to forces created by electrical fields. It also carries electrical currents and generates magnetic fields. It is believed that the visible universe is made up of 99% plasma. While it is invisible like gas, it is different as it carries within it all building blocks of matter which are electrically charged particles at high energy.

This just so amazing because essentially this is the 4th body that all esoteric wisdom talks of – our energetic body. The body in which we hold our energetic impulses and the electro magnetic frequencies – it is our electrical charge – our pulsation our vibration. While it is not visible it shows up through our impulses via our gut and intuition. We call them vibes – we can sense them but most often cannot make sense of them. It is so subtle it is overlooked and ignored but in fact holds within it our full power and potential. It is this that connects us to the fabric of all creation and is the energetic web through which all is one.

What is very important to understand is that all these bodies are interconnected and thus impact each other.

So say one consumes physically poor nutrition; this creates toxicity in our body triggering negative emotional reactions like irritation and anger in turn creating unpleasant physical experiences which then build up our beliefs that life is tough and hard. Overtime this impacts our energy creating within us energetic blocks that then impact the potential of living your best life. It doesn’t always start in the physical. It could be an emotional breakup which causes so much turmoil that the mental belief turns into mistrust and resentment thus causing us to indulge in unhealthy physical experiences possibly turning to unhealthy addictions. This once again impacts our energetic structure creating a denser vibration – a thicker grosser expression which then translates into blocks and struggles.

We then have experiences of a lower vibration which in turn confirm our mental, emotional or physical struggles making them real. The story becomes real and then we are stuck within a downward spiral.

The good news is we can heal these blocks and clear our vibration and raise it to a misty sparkling dance. We can do it by starting at any of these bodies. We can start with clearing either the physical, mental or emotional bodies; by letting go of encumbered actions, feelings and thoughts. Optionally, we can work with energetic modalities which directly heals our energy body.

Science today talks of matter having more states than just 4, they are very subtle = just as ancient wisdom talks of us having more subtle bodies than just the 4 obvious ones. That just shows the depth of inner discovery that lays within us.

For now however, when we are united in all our spaces and states; when they all begin to individually vibrate at the same frequency that our energetic speak becomes powerful and complete.

We would then have incredible access to our most powerful state where lightness, magic, synchronicity, alignment, balance, ease, peace reside – this is where we are in the flow.

 

Adios to the voice that says I am not enough…

Sometimes when we are working on our selves we come up against something big. Something about ourself, which is difficult for us to comprehend, that try as we might we might not be able to work through it. A part of us that says this is no longer a truth, it is no longer useful to me it needs to leave and I need to go beyond it.

I am someone who is very eager to work on self and make the changes and shifts required. I understand what truth is and so I am able to see that which stands in the way of it. Today, I face a part of me that I understand doesn’t serve me; but I can do nothing about. It just is what it is. I see how it affects my growth, I see how it stands in the way of my intentioned space of living and yet I know I can’t change it.

The many tools at my disposal, all the understanding, wisdom gained so far; none of it is going to shift this.

Thats when you realise that sometimes you can participate in the letting go; sometimes you can be part of the process and intend it and make those shifts and corrections within yourself.

Sometimes you have to just let go of letting go.

You recognise that space within you and you see it for what it is – you clearly and loudly announce to yourself; to that space within you that you see it – you have REAL EYESD/ realised (thanks eva) it.

Anger, frustration, grief all come up together tied up in knots; helplessness at this sudden force that seems such a wall that you don’t know what to do anymore and you have two choices. You can either give in and give that wall, that block, that untruth your power by admitting it is stronger than you and so you continue to pander to it. Or you can go beyond.

You can say well I’m not going to fight you anymore – I’m not going to accept you anymore – I am just going to carry on my day and lets just see what happens. I let go of fixing you and healing you and shifting you and changing you. The one thing I am clear though, is that I am not going to be run by you or in turn feed you.

Is this surrender?

If so, it feels good — it feels like I don’t need to be that part anymore, and I don’t need to fix that part anymore. I am choosing to carry on living my life with or without you; it matters not.

All this time I have pandered to your every desire and move, and now no longer shall it be my truth. So goodbye I detach from you and I live on. I trust there is more. I trust that life will take care of me and show me the deeper truth that lies within me. I have come to see beauty and life and peace and ease and sometimes you jump up to detract me from all of that and now I say enough. Thank you very much. Off I go; somedays you might still win; but I can safely say, that now I am way past you that held sway till today.

Don’t Educate. Inspire to Learn: an ‘ode’ to a true teacher.

I had just started at a new school in my 9th grade. Everything was new for me at this school; the country, the environment, the curriculum, the style…it was nothing like the one I came from. I fell in love with it and somehow even at the age of 14, I knew somehow, this was a vital point in my life – a shift from what was to what could be.

Yet I didn’t expect Mr. A. He was our history teacher. Yet he hadn’t arrived. This was really out of the box for me. I had never had a teacher come tardy to school. He was 2 weeks late. We were curious to meet this teacher. He was also new at school.

He didn’t disappoint. He entered the school like a fresh breeze blowing. He was funny, easy, relaxed and very open about all aspects of his life. A bit too open if you ask me now that I am a parent.:)
Yet as 9th graders we all fell in love. Here was someone who openly spoke of challenging rules, he questioned authority, made us question everything we believed in. He taught us history like it was poetry. He turned it into the most fascinating movie we would ever experience. He talked with such depth and love for his subject. He knew it so well that no class was ever structured – we had an idea of the texts we were following but no structure of how they would be presented.

He always surprised us and took us on a journey into the past to show us what we could reflect on and absorb into our present.

The first thing he said to us in his first class, was that he wasn’t going to teach us anything other than the skills to access what we would need to know when we would need to know it.

He went beyond teaching us to educating us. Continue reading

Everyday Magic

Even today I struggle.

As practised as I am at my self work, I still struggle with how to offer this information as a source of support to others who might benefit from what I have learnt and experienced.

Words fail me in expressing eloquently enough the infinite potential of solutions and options available to us to help us live a happier life.

When I started, I read a lot, of philosophy and conceptual thought; writings of how things are and how they should be. Broad based understandings which were so expanded, that after a point were just concepts with no real tangible application in my life.

Principle concepts and truths did come to light, yet I wondered what was the point of knowing about the universal truths on an esoteric level; if I as a individual was not able to apply and exercise them into my regular life?

Also when I read stories of those that had experienced a higher vision, perspective and even enlightenment — all their stories seemed to give them a clear sign.
Almost like a marking that ‘yes, you are the chosen one’. Most of them had a magical awakening. A call to an ashram or guru; hearing the voice of angels, masters, god; the mystical blessing of an enlightened one that shook them awake or put them into a transcendental experience and woke them up to purpose. Some of them were tagged as young children and so they grew up knowing they were special.
I had none of this. I had lived in a city, most of my life the same one I was born in. Not a magical beautiful city rather a pretty dense messed up one. I looked around for signs that would mark me as special…I wondered when my guru would call me or when would I experience something as brilliant as the third eye awakening and then just ’know it all’. Continue reading

Healing myself

During these years of self study, discovery and work – I maintained single pointed focus on myself.

I was put/I put myself into a situation where the need for healing arose.

We are always on our journey — always. Our journey begins with our birth. The journey might be to learn just one thing that needs to be learnt — maybe patience. It might instead be one of discovery, resolution, relaxation, enjoyment, experience, healing, teaching, transmitting or transformation… Each journey eventually is a unique one though it might still fit into one of these basic moulds. Some might start a conscious journey (one that is lived consciously and in awareness) very early in life and others might never do so; most will find a combination of both spaces in their life.

You are reading this blog; hence you are either already on your journey, about to start one, or considering the possibility of doing so. The journey is wondrous and whatever form or depth it takes — it is your journey — one that will be uniquely and beautifully crafted just for you.

I started my conscious journey at a time when I was in deep mental and emotional strain. I developed a physical problem with my skin. I never really labelled it but it was an acute expression of what might be called eczema. At that time, there was no concept of natural healing or any of the incredible information and choices that exist today. The medical world told me it would never heal and I would need to reconcile with this physical disease for life. All I could do was apply high end steroid and cortisone creams to peel it away. This problem was on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet. I felt crucified. I felt like I had been given a prison sentence with no way out and the rest of my life was going to be spent managing this condition.

Something sparked in me and I resolved within, to heal myself. I had no real understanding of what that meant and yet I couldn’t accept this situation as finality.

I could see that my physical condition had timeline wise been related to an exaggerated degree of stress that I was experiencing at that time, and so I concluded that my physical situation was a result of my emotional and mental state. Therefore, what I had to do was heal those spaces, and I would heal myself.

It was this simple logic that persuaded me to drop everything in my life and concentrate just on my self. It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, but that simplicity and conviction as naive as it might sound today; was my biggest strength. I just believed I could and so I decided to do whatever possible to do so.

Then I found myself lost. Where would I start? Who could I go to? I did not know anyone who would agree or support this claim forget having actually experienced or done it themselves.

So I withdrew. I entreated into a cave within my heart and mind. Other than those closest and dearest to me, no-one knew of my plans or intent. I acknowledge and honour this inner circle of mine, for I know how concerned and worried they were. They did not understand what I was talking about but still supported me. They felt I should follow medical advice and did not believe that I could heal myself. Yet, they accepted my journey and that is what gave me the strength to go on. Continue reading

Revolution or Evolution

   

 When we stay stuck in the space of right or wrong, black or white, your truth or my truth, his-tory or her-story, you are constantly revolving. Going around in circles. These are just different ends of the same energy thread.When you let go of this energy thread, when you stop fighting everything and accept it all just as it is; you evolve into a space of ease and comfort.

Revolution is a fight — an angst — something you are against. Even if you are fighting for something ‘good’ and against something ‘bad’. Thats still judgement. Thats still putting yourself into the energy of a fight.

It is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify something.

I know this sounds so idealistic. We can see there is so much wrong in this world. We experience it. Every time we read the papers, or watch the news; probably every time we leave our doorsteps. We see so much wrong against ourselves, others we love, humans at large, animals, the environment. We see it in governments, corporates, individuals.

How can we not fight for justice or against the terrible wrong we see in this world? We believe we must; we believe everyone must. Those that don’t, deserve no place in society. Those that don’t speak up, are as bad as those that do wrong. Being apathetic is a terrible crime.

Yet, I repeat it is not for us to judge, condemn or vilify anything.

This does not mean that you don’t speak up or act for what you believe in; it just means you don’t act against anything. It’s a subtle difference but in that subtlety comes a very different energy charge. We might sign a petition, go for a talk, walk, speak up, stand for things. Yet we don’t do it against anything. We don’t seek to put something else down to put help our voices be heard. We speak, stand up for what we believe in just because we do. We might know the energetic resonance of something thing is purer and more lighter and easier for all concerned and so we choose to partake and share in that light. We are not fighting anything. We are standing up and promoting a choice that exists. We see that every choice is just what it is and we don’t bring in the judgement, opinion or criticism into it. If we do see someone choosing a path that we can tell is not good for one and all; we could certainly speak up and share the alternatives that are.

Yet, if they still choose to follow that path — we don’t condemn them for it. We understand that is their choice and path that they have chosen to experience. Every experience good and bad brings value to every person and the world at large.

For you see there are things that we just don’t understand. As far as we might grow we will never truly know it all. There are suppositions of how the universe works; but I believe that is just what they are. Possibilities and probabilities — but can any one theory claim it to be the ultimate one? Not really.
There is an unknown aspect that exists as part of an existence of Earth. Some great seers and enlightened masters have shared that all is just as it is meant to be. So following that, however bizarre it might seem; could the darkness we see around us, be as it is meant to be? There exists this possibility. The why is the unknown part here.

Anyone who has walked their path consciously — will know it was the ‘darkness’ or ‘negatives’ that pushed them towards recognising the ‘light’ or their ‘positives’. It is an inherent truth. Light shines the brightest in the darkest of times. That is where we are. We are in a time of greatest darkness which will just allow your light to shine brighter, louder, clearer. Instead of fighting the darkness just embrace the lightness — the light.

When we let go of the fight, we let go of the power struggle that the fight pulls us into. You against me. Me right you wrong. Having to prove why I am right and you are wrong. All this is just a waste of energy.

When we recognise this; we begin to rise above the situation. We begin to evolve into our light selves. Evolution is a beautiful movement into a space that exudes in every core space of its existence pure unconditional love, acceptance, oneness, balance, ease, comfort, beauty, hope – above all else a sense of lightness by letting go. Evolution is not at the cost of another — it is moving on and knowing others will grow along too. Not when or how but just that it will happen.

All you must do is focus on your self. Focus on your light. Be the brightest strongest spark you can be in the densest darkest sky. You will be the one that will lead others home.

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What do seekers really seek?

Most seekers wade through life looking for that one thing that will connect us to our truth. That one treatment, workshop, class, article, book, wisdom, or practice that we can settle into and feel like we have arrived. Most of the time we really don’t know where we are headed; we just have this burning desire to be someplace where we can feel at peace, calm, and happy. A sense of being home. This desire propels us seekers into our journey as we keep searching for that connection and space, while not entirely certain where to find it or how it will really be once we get there. We listen to others’ experiences, we hear the confidence in their voices, we see happiness in their eyes, and we think maybe their way is the way. We jump onto their ride hoping it will take us home.

What is home? Is it another planet, a star system, a galaxy, a specific place on Earth, someone’s arms, a community? The space where we can rest our weary heads and can feel completely settled and feel like we belong. Where can we feel ourselves completely wholly and truly? Where can we seekers allow ourselves to be exactly who we are without any sense of need to fit in; where we don’t have do anything else that requires us to be eligible to belong?

This need of eligibility is everywhere–family, friends, school, work, community, culture, religion, etc. Every space we occupy has its own requirements to fit in. However well-meaning some may be, the essential message we receive is that we need to do something or show something of ourselves to be accepted. We feel we must adopt a manner, language, behavior, dress, or speech to fit it. In doing so, we are still adopting an outer reflection that might not be completely our truth.

Our desire to belong is greater than our confidence to be, and we believe that we are not enough. This belief is what keeps us from our ultimate truth, home, and resting space since our ultimate cocoon can only be found within ourselves–within the ultimate truth of who we are without any inflections. Yet, how will we seekers ever get there if our core belief tells us we are not enough?

We always have some of our identity borrowed by some guideline, which is followed by some institution that we aspire to belong to. We believe we need to be part of that something, which when we are accepted into, will be the answer to what we are looking for.

When we do go into something and still don’t find that space of rest, we believe something is wrong with us to have not found it, so we continue to look even more. We continue taking the class, workshop, practice, or teaching in an effort to adopt that one more thing we believe will lead us home.

How ironic that the only way home is when we drop the belief that we really need anything or anyone outside of us to take us there. The ultimate feeling of belonging to self comes only when we are willing to stand in our truth without any adopted beliefs, manners, and speech. It is realized when we are willing to be completely whoever we truly are and believe in ourselves.

These simple words have great power. I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. In saying these words, there is a letting go and a release of all the strain and stress we carry within our hearts and minds of trying to reach our destination. Our minds might not believe it, but our hearts ache to hear those words. Can I be enough just the way I am?

Allow these words to speak to you. Sit and observe the reasons the mind believes that it is not possible. Allow it to tell you its story. Hold those beliefs. Some of them will hold a strong energetic emotional charge, and those will require some degree of focused clearing work. Others will just come up for awareness and that is all you need to release them. Some, you may just not be ready to let go of. Those stories are still useful to you, and that’s perfectly okay too.

Whichever way, whether you work through them or not, just continue saying those words, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, as you hold them and caress them. Slowly begin to walk back the path of believing them and becoming them for they will guide you home.

article featured on Om Times

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