Category Archives: my journey

Don’t Educate. Inspire to Learn: an ‘ode’ to a true teacher.

I had just started at a new school in my 9th grade. Everything was new for me at this school; the country, the environment, the curriculum, the style…it was nothing like the one I came from. I fell in love with it and somehow even at the age of 14, I knew somehow, this was a vital point in my life – a shift from what was to what could be.

Yet I didn’t expect Mr. A. He was our history teacher. Yet he hadn’t arrived. This was really out of the box for me. I had never had a teacher come tardy to school. He was 2 weeks late. We were curious to meet this teacher. He was also new at school.

He didn’t disappoint. He entered the school like a fresh breeze blowing. He was funny, easy, relaxed and very open about all aspects of his life. A bit too open if you ask me now that I am a parent.:)
Yet as 9th graders we all fell in love. Here was someone who openly spoke of challenging rules, he questioned authority, made us question everything we believed in. He taught us history like it was poetry. He turned it into the most fascinating movie we would ever experience. He talked with such depth and love for his subject. He knew it so well that no class was ever structured – we had an idea of the texts we were following but no structure of how they would be presented.

He always surprised us and took us on a journey into the past to show us what we could reflect on and absorb into our present.

The first thing he said to us in his first class, was that he wasn’t going to teach us anything other than the skills to access what we would need to know when we would need to know it.

He went beyond teaching us to educating us. Continue reading Don’t Educate. Inspire to Learn: an ‘ode’ to a true teacher.

Structure and Energy, teachings of the amazing Spider

We all exist within structure. Its part of what makes us who we are.

We have physical structure to begin with so we are not actually just floating atoms talking to each other telepathically; but there is form and structure in the world that we exist in.

We see similar structure in less tangible terms too — such as our individual persona which structures our reality; extending out to familial, cultural, religious, corporate, governmental structure.

Structure is a common set of rules that we apply to our lives. Sort of a one size fits all, set of controls, that overlays all that we do, think and feel.

It is rigid and heavy and dense like most of what we see around us. It stands proud and strong and unbending to any off road possibilities that might come its way. Our homes, our bodies our world and everything that we connect with, expresses this denseness at its core. At times the structure might be totally inappropriate to us or the situation but we apply it anyway because structure comes first. Structure has become a system that we are all expected to fit into whether it be how we parent, educate, work, live, love, express, pray.

Structure was the first thing I remember realising I had lost when I started my journey. Circumstances had dissolved it and I felt like I had no structure left –  whether it be  mental structure (right or wrong); emotional structure (which was erratic) or my physical reality which was in upheaval.
So though a part of me was terrified of feeling radar less and de-structured — it was also strangely and wonderfully liberating. I felt free! Completely free of any fixed form of thinking or being.

For a long time post,  I resisted all structure.

I believe in freedom. I believe in thinking free, feeling freely, expressing my truth, experiencing a life free of any filters that might limit my perceptions of it.

I saw structure as the roadblock to freedom. Freedom for me was doing whatever I wanted to – allowing my full potential to emerge and express itself. I chose a new mantra ‘go with the flow’. Move away from knowing and controlling to just flowing through life and wherever the currents would take me. I would put no framework of any kind and just wait to be taken along for the ride. Some days, I found myself going nowhere.

For how can you go anywhere if you disengage and detach from your expression of life? Where will the flow take you without direction and focus? It might never even reach you and so that waiting for the flow could turn out to be like waiting for Godot.

Realising the balance of structure and freedom was a big learning; it is not to choose one or the other but to provide your free heart the right structure to act, feel, think and express through.

Yet what then is right structure? That is what the Spider taught me.
Continue reading Structure and Energy, teachings of the amazing Spider

Healing myself

During these years of self study, discovery and work – I maintained single pointed focus on myself.

I was put/I put myself into a situation where the need for healing arose.

We are always on our journey — always. Our journey begins with our birth. The journey might be to learn just one thing that needs to be learnt — maybe patience. It might instead be one of discovery, resolution, relaxation, enjoyment, experience, healing, teaching, transmitting or transformation… Each journey eventually is a unique one though it might still fit into one of these basic moulds. Some might start a conscious journey (one that is lived consciously and in awareness) very early in life and others might never do so; most will find a combination of both spaces in their life.

You are reading this blog; hence you are either already on your journey, about to start one, or considering the possibility of doing so. The journey is wondrous and whatever form or depth it takes — it is your journey — one that will be uniquely and beautifully crafted just for you.

I started my conscious journey at a time when I was in deep mental and emotional strain. I developed a physical problem with my skin. I never really labelled it but it was an acute expression of what might be called eczema. At that time, there was no concept of natural healing or any of the incredible information and choices that exist today. The medical world told me it would never heal and I would need to reconcile with this physical disease for life. All I could do was apply high end steroid and cortisone creams to peel it away. This problem was on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet. I felt crucified. I felt like I had been given a prison sentence with no way out and the rest of my life was going to be spent managing this condition.

Something sparked in me and I resolved within, to heal myself. I had no real understanding of what that meant and yet I couldn’t accept this situation as finality.

I could see that my physical condition had timeline wise been related to an exaggerated degree of stress that I was experiencing at that time, and so I concluded that my physical situation was a result of my emotional and mental state. Therefore, what I had to do was heal those spaces, and I would heal myself.

It was this simple logic that persuaded me to drop everything in my life and concentrate just on my self. It turned out not to be as simple as it seemed, but that simplicity and conviction as naive as it might sound today; was my biggest strength. I just believed I could and so I decided to do whatever possible to do so.

Then I found myself lost. Where would I start? Who could I go to? I did not know anyone who would agree or support this claim forget having actually experienced or done it themselves.

So I withdrew. I entreated into a cave within my heart and mind. Other than those closest and dearest to me, no-one knew of my plans or intent. I acknowledge and honour this inner circle of mine, for I know how concerned and worried they were. They did not understand what I was talking about but still supported me. They felt I should follow medical advice and did not believe that I could heal myself. Yet, they accepted my journey and that is what gave me the strength to go on. Continue reading Healing myself