We all exist within structure. Its part of what makes us who we are.
We have physical structure to begin with so we are not actually just floating atoms talking to each other telepathically; but there is form and structure in the world that we exist in.
We see similar structure in less tangible terms too — such as our individual persona which structures our reality; extending out to familial, cultural, religious, corporate, governmental structure.
Structure is a common set of rules that we apply to our lives. Sort of a one size fits all, set of controls, that overlays all that we do, think and feel.
It is rigid and heavy and dense like most of what we see around us. It stands proud and strong and unbending to any off road possibilities that might come its way. Our homes, our bodies our world and everything that we connect with, expresses this denseness at its core. At times the structure might be totally inappropriate to us or the situation but we apply it anyway because structure comes first. Structure has become a system that we are all expected to fit into whether it be how we parent, educate, work, live, love, express, pray.
Structure was the first thing I remember realising I had lost when I started my journey. Circumstances had dissolved it and I felt like I had no structure left – whether it be mental structure (right or wrong); emotional structure (which was erratic) or my physical reality which was in upheaval.
So though a part of me was terrified of feeling radar less and de-structured — it was also strangely and wonderfully liberating. I felt free! Completely free of any fixed form of thinking or being.
For a long time post, I resisted all structure.
I believe in freedom. I believe in thinking free, feeling freely, expressing my truth, experiencing a life free of any filters that might limit my perceptions of it.
I saw structure as the roadblock to freedom. Freedom for me was doing whatever I wanted to – allowing my full potential to emerge and express itself. I chose a new mantra ‘go with the flow’. Move away from knowing and controlling to just flowing through life and wherever the currents would take me. I would put no framework of any kind and just wait to be taken along for the ride. Some days, I found myself going nowhere.
For how can you go anywhere if you disengage and detach from your expression of life? Where will the flow take you without direction and focus? It might never even reach you and so that waiting for the flow could turn out to be like waiting for Godot.
Realising the balance of structure and freedom was a big learning; it is not to choose one or the other but to provide your free heart the right structure to act, feel, think and express through.
Yet what then is right structure? That is what the Spider taught me.
Structure is core. It is the essence of life. It is the web that we are all engaged within and connected to. It is this web that creates connections and allows for the ‘FLOW’ to reach you and take you along for a fantabulous ride.
I was sitting by a window one day and observing a spider spin its web. Highly intricate with great precision — it worked hard at its web — at this wonderful structure. Yet it was very different from the way I had always seen ‘structure’.
This one was light instead of heavy. It was intricate instead of dense. It was precise instead of floppy. It was unique to the specific environment it was spinning its web within.
This structure was beautiful and most importantly, while it was so well measured, precise, intricate, well suited, individual, unique it was also light and free flowing; come pouring rain, heavy wind, blazing sun or hard earth, it lasted and persevered.
It attracted to it what insects it needed to and offered sustenance to its creator.
Its creator on the other hand was not particularly attached to this wonderful, unique, fantastic, fabulous, piece of creation. The creator creates because that is its purpose. S/he creates whether you notice it or not, serving that creation to the best of its ability and then moves on to the next branch, tree, log, forest, grass, window whatsoever it might be that s/he finds and sets about creating another unique offering to this world.
I remember seeing this web so lightly hanging on to the branch it was attached to, and as the rain intensified and the wind blew I thought, it’s going to break – but it didn’t; it just floated in whatever direction the wind took, and it hung on and outlasted the rain and storm.
For me that is how structure should be in all spaces of our lives. Something that fits our individuality and that allows us to be fluid and interconnected with the world we inhabit. A structure that is made with a lot of thought, love and precision but holds no weight and can flow in any direction whatsoever and outlast every storm that comes our way. One that at times may be totally invisible to the eye, but it still exists within and exudes a strong presence everywhere it goes. It is not fixed in anything but it is rooted in all and can be strong as rock or pliable as feather depending on what is needed at that moment.
So when you do find yourself ready to express your purpose do so like the spider does — giving it your best, with great focus, precision and send out your own wonderfully unique, powerfully supportive creation out into this world.
It will sustain you.