How often does this happen to you? Someone you know well or barely even and yet they manage to stoke you in just the right place and get you all riled up. Whether u express it or suppress it you know within yourself how upset you are and your mind jumps a thousand loops before it gets to a point of settling down.
Rather than focus on the who is triggering you, consider focussing on why you are being triggered and what is coming up within you because of this triggering.
what matters most is what lies within you. whether it is shame, guilt, anger, pain, fear, despair, frustration, lack of self worth, desperation, neediness…
These emotions are what are common among all of us – different people and reasons trigger them but ultimately we are all swimming in the same ocean of emotional pain.
look at how you behave when these emotional triggers come up – do you allow them to ride through you and can you surf these waves of intensity or do you push them down, distract yourself, deny their existence?
Some of us get so caught up in the pain of these emotions that we rise up to attack the ones that have triggered us. they are to blame, it is their fault i am feeling this and we project our anger, frustration, blame, helplessness onto them. each emotion will bring with it its own pattern of behaviour. To the one used to being an alpha the response is more anger back at the one who triggered you. To the one who is more meek it could even be further pacifying behaviour to the one that triggered in an attempt to receive their validation and approval.
Any of the above is staying locked in the external – in linking it to the cause of the trigger. however you could consider this opportunity to go within.
We are all energy and our energy has vibrational frequencies. It is because our energy is vibrating at a frequency that believes in this emotional expression that we have these emotional responses arise within us when triggered.
Simply put if you didn’t hold the energetic resonance of guilt no matter what someone said or did they would not be able to trigger that emotional response from you. the same applies to despair, unworthiness, neediness, shame, anger, fear and so on.
A positive way to work with this is when you are triggered into this uncomfortable spaces – stop for a moment, breathe, acknowledge the emotion and the discomfort you are feeling. recognise the one who has triggered you but rather than attach yourself to the cause of the trigger – detach and focus on what is being triggered.
Just stay with the emotion – i am feeling guilt. i am feeling despair. i am feeling shame. just recognise what you are feeling – sometimes it helps to understand why – but what is more powerful is just acceptance and recognition of the existence of that emotion.
sometimes the burden of the emotion is a cross to difficult to bear. it can make you simply nuts – that emotion can set u off on a roller coaster ride that can absolutely make you feel so weak and incapacitated – but trust me the wave of intensity will settle – you just have to ride it.
in acknowledging, seeing, recognising, accepting what lies within you give it space to transform. and transform it does.
This might sound too easy to be true. actually it is surprising how less we need to do to work on ourselves. the real work is in allowing the experience of what lies within to rise up, be seen and acknowledged. the experiencing of the emotion can be exceptionally hard. that requires a warriors heart and a trusting mind.
Life loves and needs such warriors and when you step up to be one it will flood you with support that will blow you away. techniques, people, books, teachers, guides all will appear – you will be called to energy spots that will work and support you on your clearing and transformation.
Also the focus moves away from the person who triggered – and as you practise this – you begin to realise that the person is just there doing you a huge ass favour in helping you touch shadow spaces within yourself that need to come up to be healed. They are at some point serving you for they are the only ones who could tap in so deep to actually trigger that emotional charge out of you. You then begin to see them with new appreciation and gratitude.
Ultimately you will be lighter, easier, happier with a lower capacity to be triggered.❤️